Monday, July 03, 2006
My Sister is Dating a Loser
Dear Guidance Guy,
My sister has a boyfriend who is so weird. He smokes, he's SO lazy everytime he comes over he lays down somewhere, he's fat (not like its a bad thing but you know what I mean) and MEAN. Whenever she's around him and me she's always mean to me and never pays any attention to me. It's so weird because she's always so nice to me but not when hes around. She's 16 and he's 18 or 19. and I hate him. He's mean and pulls her away from me then I hear him talking about me. They're so young and already talking about marriage! She's always out with him. I say " wanna hang out?" She says "sorry I'm out with my boyfriend."
They were cleaning out his car and there were like 12 boxes of cigarettes. I just wanted to hit him and tell him to get a life, lose a few pounds and be NICE. I talked to my sister but she says she loves him. I don't want her to get hurt or make the wrong choice or screw up her life. I know she can do better. Please help me!
Katie
*****
Dear Katie,
You seem to have a few issues with this. One of them is that the boyfriend has cut into your time with your sister. Another is that he does things you don't approve of and another is that she acts differently toward you when he's around.
The quickest way to bring them closer together, have him continue to be unfriendly to you put more distance between you and your sister is to keep doing what you're doing. Everything about your letter is judging him. And while they may be mean to you, your letter was very hostile toward both of them. His being fat and lazy is none of your business. I'm guessing they both sense your disapproval and want to get as far away from you as possible.
The chances of them getting married are pretty small. Teen relationships don't usually last very long. If he's not the right guy, she'll figure it out on her own and find someone more suitable. She may not be the right one for him, and he may choose to end it himself. But by putting yourself in the middle you're not letting things happen naturally.
Katie, at some point you will have a boyfriend of your own (if you don't already) and you'll see great things in him that no one else sees. Nobody will be wrong; you'll just see things differently. Let your sister do what is right for her at this point in her life. And if you want to keep the relationship with her after he's gone, treat her the way you would want to be treated.
Sincerely,
The Guidance Guy
My sister has a boyfriend who is so weird. He smokes, he's SO lazy everytime he comes over he lays down somewhere, he's fat (not like its a bad thing but you know what I mean) and MEAN. Whenever she's around him and me she's always mean to me and never pays any attention to me. It's so weird because she's always so nice to me but not when hes around. She's 16 and he's 18 or 19. and I hate him. He's mean and pulls her away from me then I hear him talking about me. They're so young and already talking about marriage! She's always out with him. I say " wanna hang out?" She says "sorry I'm out with my boyfriend."
They were cleaning out his car and there were like 12 boxes of cigarettes. I just wanted to hit him and tell him to get a life, lose a few pounds and be NICE. I talked to my sister but she says she loves him. I don't want her to get hurt or make the wrong choice or screw up her life. I know she can do better. Please help me!
Katie
*****
Dear Katie,
You seem to have a few issues with this. One of them is that the boyfriend has cut into your time with your sister. Another is that he does things you don't approve of and another is that she acts differently toward you when he's around.
The quickest way to bring them closer together, have him continue to be unfriendly to you put more distance between you and your sister is to keep doing what you're doing. Everything about your letter is judging him. And while they may be mean to you, your letter was very hostile toward both of them. His being fat and lazy is none of your business. I'm guessing they both sense your disapproval and want to get as far away from you as possible.
The chances of them getting married are pretty small. Teen relationships don't usually last very long. If he's not the right guy, she'll figure it out on her own and find someone more suitable. She may not be the right one for him, and he may choose to end it himself. But by putting yourself in the middle you're not letting things happen naturally.
Katie, at some point you will have a boyfriend of your own (if you don't already) and you'll see great things in him that no one else sees. Nobody will be wrong; you'll just see things differently. Let your sister do what is right for her at this point in her life. And if you want to keep the relationship with her after he's gone, treat her the way you would want to be treated.
Sincerely,
The Guidance Guy
