Monday, July 24, 2006
In Love With My Teacher
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have a crush on my teacher. I know, I know. It's wrong. But I can't help it. I've become obsessed with him, I have even looked him up in the phone book and on the internet. I've kept it to myself because I know it's crazy, he's at least 20 years older than I am. But I can't help my feelings for him. He is so gorgeous and funny and his smile makes me melt.
If I don't do anything, I know it's harmless just a schoolgirl crush. But I'm 18 and he's divorced. Would I be crazy to pursue him after I graduate? Is that exactly wrong if he isn't my teacher anymore? I don't know what to do... but I've graduated and I like him. I see him around a lot too. And yes, accidentally. I'm no stalker. So should I pursue him, or just let it slide?
In Love With My Teacher
*** *** ***
Dear In Love,
I don't want to be the one to tell you whether or not you should make a decision that's extremely personal and important. No one should do that. But I can point a few things out to you...
If you have graduated and are 18, neither of you would be violating any laws by having a relationship. I know a couple of teachers who have married former students.
Having said that, these type of relationships usually don't work out. Try and figure out what you and he have in common. That's the basis of a relationship. You need to enjoy each other's company as equals. You have to be able to talk on the same level, including arguing. For most people it's just too difficult to pull off. And if you do pursue it, you run the risk of ruining all the great memories if it doesn't work out or if he rejects your interest. And I'm guessing it would be very uncomfortable for him to tell his fellow teachers he's dating an 18 year old former student.
But that's the funny thing about attraction. It has its own set of rules that don't always make sense to the rest of the world. Decide how badly you want this. If it's worth all the potential trouble and heartaches - and the likelihood he won't feel the same way - then go for it.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
I have a crush on my teacher. I know, I know. It's wrong. But I can't help it. I've become obsessed with him, I have even looked him up in the phone book and on the internet. I've kept it to myself because I know it's crazy, he's at least 20 years older than I am. But I can't help my feelings for him. He is so gorgeous and funny and his smile makes me melt.
If I don't do anything, I know it's harmless just a schoolgirl crush. But I'm 18 and he's divorced. Would I be crazy to pursue him after I graduate? Is that exactly wrong if he isn't my teacher anymore? I don't know what to do... but I've graduated and I like him. I see him around a lot too. And yes, accidentally. I'm no stalker. So should I pursue him, or just let it slide?
In Love With My Teacher
*** *** ***
Dear In Love,
I don't want to be the one to tell you whether or not you should make a decision that's extremely personal and important. No one should do that. But I can point a few things out to you...
If you have graduated and are 18, neither of you would be violating any laws by having a relationship. I know a couple of teachers who have married former students.
Having said that, these type of relationships usually don't work out. Try and figure out what you and he have in common. That's the basis of a relationship. You need to enjoy each other's company as equals. You have to be able to talk on the same level, including arguing. For most people it's just too difficult to pull off. And if you do pursue it, you run the risk of ruining all the great memories if it doesn't work out or if he rejects your interest. And I'm guessing it would be very uncomfortable for him to tell his fellow teachers he's dating an 18 year old former student.
But that's the funny thing about attraction. It has its own set of rules that don't always make sense to the rest of the world. Decide how badly you want this. If it's worth all the potential trouble and heartaches - and the likelihood he won't feel the same way - then go for it.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
