Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Boyfriend and Drugs, or Neither?
Dear Guidance Guy,
Yesterday me and my boyfriend of four months decided to hang out with his friend Brandon. Brandon asked us if we wanted a cigarette I said yes not wanting to hurt him so we smoked and then he asked if we wanted a joint. We said yes, again not wanting to hurt him.
I talked to my boyfriend after and said that I didn't like to smoke or do pot. He told me that if I wanted to be with him then I had to be okay with him doing it. I'm not because he could get in trouble, but I want to be with him. What should I do???
Loves Boyfriend But Not Drugs
*** *** ***
Dear Loves,
Your boyfriend and you are moving in opposite directions. He is doing something that just doesn't feel right to you. You're not doing things that feel good to him. So putting aside the issue that what he's doing will lead to health and maybe legal problems, there is something important that you just don't have in common.
Your boyfriend gave you a choice: him with pot or nothing at all. So right now he's the one calling the shots in the relationship. You can also give him a choice. You without the pot or nothing at all. I would love to see you find your strength with him, even if it means he chooses the pot over you. If he does, you'll know drugs are more important to him than you are. And that should help you get over him quickly.
Your self-respect and feeling good about yourself are more important than this guy, or ANY other guy you'll ever meet. Hold out for someone who doesn't force you to make choices you aren't comfortable with. This guy isn't ready for a great girl like you.
Thanks for an important letter,
The Guidance Guy
Yesterday me and my boyfriend of four months decided to hang out with his friend Brandon. Brandon asked us if we wanted a cigarette I said yes not wanting to hurt him so we smoked and then he asked if we wanted a joint. We said yes, again not wanting to hurt him.
I talked to my boyfriend after and said that I didn't like to smoke or do pot. He told me that if I wanted to be with him then I had to be okay with him doing it. I'm not because he could get in trouble, but I want to be with him. What should I do???
Loves Boyfriend But Not Drugs
*** *** ***
Dear Loves,
Your boyfriend and you are moving in opposite directions. He is doing something that just doesn't feel right to you. You're not doing things that feel good to him. So putting aside the issue that what he's doing will lead to health and maybe legal problems, there is something important that you just don't have in common.
Your boyfriend gave you a choice: him with pot or nothing at all. So right now he's the one calling the shots in the relationship. You can also give him a choice. You without the pot or nothing at all. I would love to see you find your strength with him, even if it means he chooses the pot over you. If he does, you'll know drugs are more important to him than you are. And that should help you get over him quickly.
Your self-respect and feeling good about yourself are more important than this guy, or ANY other guy you'll ever meet. Hold out for someone who doesn't force you to make choices you aren't comfortable with. This guy isn't ready for a great girl like you.
Thanks for an important letter,
The Guidance Guy
