Thursday, June 08, 2006
Needs Help With Friend
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have this friend and we have been really close for a long time. She is a really good athlete and she likes to rub it in my face and other people's. She seems to think that when other people aren't as good as she is then they aren't good at all. And she doesn't treat my other friends really well and she makes really mean jokes about them behind their backs and right in front of me!
I try to stick up for them but then she starts to threaten to beat me up and stuff like that so I back off. She also can have a really bad temper when she gets mad and she likes to threaten the people she's mad at because she knows that she can beat them up if she really wanted to. I really like her and all but a lot of the time she scares me.
What should I do?
Unsure
*****
Dear Unsure,
What part about her do you really like? You mentioned a lot of things about her and none of them were good - except for her athletic ability. People who feel the need to act superior to other people are usually very insecure. So they try to make themselves look good by making others look bad.
Being scared of someone is not a good way to continue a friendship. It looks like you and she are moving in different directions. You have a few choices here. One of them is to keep being friends with her but telling her you don't like it when she makes fun of other people. She hasn't liked that so far, so it may not be a good idea. I don't want you to get beat up. You can also cool off the friendship by not calling her or hanging out as much. Let the friendship fade away if that's what happens.
Of course you can always make fun of people right along with her. But then you'll lose the other friends you have. And I guarantee if she makes fun of people around you, she makes fun of you around other people when you're not there.
This is one of those times when you get to grow up by doing what's right and what's best for you. Something tells me you'll make the right choices.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
I have this friend and we have been really close for a long time. She is a really good athlete and she likes to rub it in my face and other people's. She seems to think that when other people aren't as good as she is then they aren't good at all. And she doesn't treat my other friends really well and she makes really mean jokes about them behind their backs and right in front of me!
I try to stick up for them but then she starts to threaten to beat me up and stuff like that so I back off. She also can have a really bad temper when she gets mad and she likes to threaten the people she's mad at because she knows that she can beat them up if she really wanted to. I really like her and all but a lot of the time she scares me.
What should I do?
Unsure
*****
Dear Unsure,
What part about her do you really like? You mentioned a lot of things about her and none of them were good - except for her athletic ability. People who feel the need to act superior to other people are usually very insecure. So they try to make themselves look good by making others look bad.
Being scared of someone is not a good way to continue a friendship. It looks like you and she are moving in different directions. You have a few choices here. One of them is to keep being friends with her but telling her you don't like it when she makes fun of other people. She hasn't liked that so far, so it may not be a good idea. I don't want you to get beat up. You can also cool off the friendship by not calling her or hanging out as much. Let the friendship fade away if that's what happens.
Of course you can always make fun of people right along with her. But then you'll lose the other friends you have. And I guarantee if she makes fun of people around you, she makes fun of you around other people when you're not there.
This is one of those times when you get to grow up by doing what's right and what's best for you. Something tells me you'll make the right choices.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
