Tuesday, June 06, 2006
How Can I Talk To My Ex-Best Friend?
Dear Guidance Guy,
My ex-best friend of four years and I haven't talked in a year. I barely see her, and if I do I want to know what I should say. I miss her but I am afraid of what she might say. Can you help?
Sincerely,
Anonymous
*****
Dear Anonymous,
Yes, I can help. You and your friend haven't talked in a year. The worst thing she could say is that she still doesn't want to be your friend, and maybe a few other unpleasant things. And that won't put you in a worse place than you already are with her, which is nowhere.
The best thing that can happen is that the two of you decide how much you miss each other and decide to start the friendship again. Wouldn't that be great!
There are two things you can do. One is to let it all hang out - tell her how much you miss her. I don't know if you want to do that because it will bring back the past. You want to move forward.
The other thing you can do is start over. Ask her about how she is doing now. Let the conversation be about her. I'm sure she'll appreciate the attention. She may just ask you about yourself. This could be a way to start the friendship all over again. Try it and see how it goes.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
My ex-best friend of four years and I haven't talked in a year. I barely see her, and if I do I want to know what I should say. I miss her but I am afraid of what she might say. Can you help?
Sincerely,
Anonymous
*****
Dear Anonymous,
Yes, I can help. You and your friend haven't talked in a year. The worst thing she could say is that she still doesn't want to be your friend, and maybe a few other unpleasant things. And that won't put you in a worse place than you already are with her, which is nowhere.
The best thing that can happen is that the two of you decide how much you miss each other and decide to start the friendship again. Wouldn't that be great!
There are two things you can do. One is to let it all hang out - tell her how much you miss her. I don't know if you want to do that because it will bring back the past. You want to move forward.
The other thing you can do is start over. Ask her about how she is doing now. Let the conversation be about her. I'm sure she'll appreciate the attention. She may just ask you about yourself. This could be a way to start the friendship all over again. Try it and see how it goes.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
