Friday, May 19, 2006
This is a friend?
Dear Guidance Guy,
I have a friend who's older and I hurt her by saying something that I thought was a joke. But I didn't understand why she got made because it was a joke about me not her. Now we don't talk very much but everytime we do we get into a fight about something. She treats me like I am a little kid and that i am wicked stubborn. I told her that I was sorry for what I said but she seems not to care. What can I do to get my friend back?
K.
*****
Dear K.
I don't know if there is anything you should do to get her back. She is older than you, and you may be too different from you to have the friendship right now.
The big question is WHY you are so worried about this one person. I don't like to see anyone be so hurt by losing one friend that they feel terrible. I know friends are very important, but feeling good about yourself is more important. You will meet many people in the next few years who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. This person doesn't seem to be very nice to you right now. And as you said, she doesn't seem to care about what you say to her. Is this a friend you really want, or do you want to find someone who you get along with well?
Think about what kind of friend you would like to have. I don't think it's someone who doesn't accept apologies and you feel bad being around. There are lots of people who would make good friends for you. It doesn't have to be this one.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I have a friend who's older and I hurt her by saying something that I thought was a joke. But I didn't understand why she got made because it was a joke about me not her. Now we don't talk very much but everytime we do we get into a fight about something. She treats me like I am a little kid and that i am wicked stubborn. I told her that I was sorry for what I said but she seems not to care. What can I do to get my friend back?
K.
*****
Dear K.
I don't know if there is anything you should do to get her back. She is older than you, and you may be too different from you to have the friendship right now.
The big question is WHY you are so worried about this one person. I don't like to see anyone be so hurt by losing one friend that they feel terrible. I know friends are very important, but feeling good about yourself is more important. You will meet many people in the next few years who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. This person doesn't seem to be very nice to you right now. And as you said, she doesn't seem to care about what you say to her. Is this a friend you really want, or do you want to find someone who you get along with well?
Think about what kind of friend you would like to have. I don't think it's someone who doesn't accept apologies and you feel bad being around. There are lots of people who would make good friends for you. It doesn't have to be this one.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
