Thursday, May 18, 2006
Puberty or Reality?
Dear Guidance Guy,
My family hates me. All I do is try to please them, but they keep snapping back at me. My dad gets aggravated at work and takes it out on me, my sister gets my parents in a bad mood before she leaves the house and I'm all alone with them and my mom is in the middle.
My dad cursed at me yesterday for turning off the TV by accident. My mom yelled at him but then she got in a bad mood. My mom called me a word that rhymes with witch when I explained that it wasn't right to yell at me. My sister then had to leave and I was all alone with the two of them feuding for hours on end.
I am scared and afraid, but maybe I am over-reacting. I mean my mom keeps telling me that I am acting like this because of puberty, but I really see no problem! I don't have any signs of getting my period yet so I don't think that I am wrong. PLEASE HELP! I am running out of things to do.
Signed,
Puberty or Reality?
Dear P. or R.,
From what you write, it looks like your family is in crisis. Everyone is mad at everyone else and they don't know how to get out of the constant tension. You aren't over-reacting. What needs to happen is for your parents to stop and talk with each other about what's going on and how to cope better with their own frustration.
Of course, you don't control what they do, so you've got to take care of yourself. Puberty doesn't have anything to do with this. People don't act like anything because of what their bodies do. Sometimes they can be influenced by what's going on with their bodies, but we all still have choices about how we handle situations. If you mom called you "the B word" that was a choice she made - not a good one.
Try talking to a counselor at school. Many schools have support groups and other forms of counseling for students with family issues like yours. But the main things I want you to know are that your family doesn't hate you - they're going through a rough time, and what's going on isn't your fault.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
My family hates me. All I do is try to please them, but they keep snapping back at me. My dad gets aggravated at work and takes it out on me, my sister gets my parents in a bad mood before she leaves the house and I'm all alone with them and my mom is in the middle.
My dad cursed at me yesterday for turning off the TV by accident. My mom yelled at him but then she got in a bad mood. My mom called me a word that rhymes with witch when I explained that it wasn't right to yell at me. My sister then had to leave and I was all alone with the two of them feuding for hours on end.
I am scared and afraid, but maybe I am over-reacting. I mean my mom keeps telling me that I am acting like this because of puberty, but I really see no problem! I don't have any signs of getting my period yet so I don't think that I am wrong. PLEASE HELP! I am running out of things to do.
Signed,
Puberty or Reality?
Dear P. or R.,
From what you write, it looks like your family is in crisis. Everyone is mad at everyone else and they don't know how to get out of the constant tension. You aren't over-reacting. What needs to happen is for your parents to stop and talk with each other about what's going on and how to cope better with their own frustration.
Of course, you don't control what they do, so you've got to take care of yourself. Puberty doesn't have anything to do with this. People don't act like anything because of what their bodies do. Sometimes they can be influenced by what's going on with their bodies, but we all still have choices about how we handle situations. If you mom called you "the B word" that was a choice she made - not a good one.
Try talking to a counselor at school. Many schools have support groups and other forms of counseling for students with family issues like yours. But the main things I want you to know are that your family doesn't hate you - they're going through a rough time, and what's going on isn't your fault.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
