Sunday, April 09, 2006
Truth or Dare
Dear Guidance Guy,
Over the March break I went to a party and we were playing truth or dare. It was my best friend's turn and I dared her to kiss my other friend's boyfriend on the cheek. She did it, since we weren't allowed to back down from our dares. Then she thought for sure I would pick truth, and I decided to surprise her, so I picked dare. She then dared me to kiss one of our best guy friends on the cheek (who I just so happen to like). Since I couldn't back down, I did it. After it happened things were fine. After we finished playing we promised that we wouldn't tell anyone what happened at the party.
Meanwhile my other best friend was out of town, and I knew I couldn't keep something like this from her, so I told her when she got back. She was surprised at first but then told me she had already known. Then I went to school and the guy friend totally ignored me and wouldn't talk to me. I had no idea why. Then I found out that my other best friend who wasn't at the party told him that I had told her. He was really mad at me for telling her and my mom as well. Two days later I wrote a note from me and my friend saying we were really sorry we had broken our promise. He wrote back and it was a horrible letter that in the end said he was sorry if we still wanted to be his friend but it wasn't going to work.
Even though through this whole thing we have said some really mean things to each other, I still would like to be his friend. What can I do to convince him that I truly am sorry and that I still want to be his friend?
Signed,
I regret my actions.
*****
Dear Regret,
This seems like a huge deal to you because you kissed a guy you like (even if it was only on the cheek) and then broke your promise. To the rest of the world, it's no big deal. Paying more attention to it will only make it get bigger. With time this will become smaller. Eventually it will go away completely.
You already did everything you should. You made a mistake and you apologized for it. No real harm was done. Now it's your friend's turn to act mature, accept the apology and move on. If he isn't ready to do that, it's his loss.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
Over the March break I went to a party and we were playing truth or dare. It was my best friend's turn and I dared her to kiss my other friend's boyfriend on the cheek. She did it, since we weren't allowed to back down from our dares. Then she thought for sure I would pick truth, and I decided to surprise her, so I picked dare. She then dared me to kiss one of our best guy friends on the cheek (who I just so happen to like). Since I couldn't back down, I did it. After it happened things were fine. After we finished playing we promised that we wouldn't tell anyone what happened at the party.
Meanwhile my other best friend was out of town, and I knew I couldn't keep something like this from her, so I told her when she got back. She was surprised at first but then told me she had already known. Then I went to school and the guy friend totally ignored me and wouldn't talk to me. I had no idea why. Then I found out that my other best friend who wasn't at the party told him that I had told her. He was really mad at me for telling her and my mom as well. Two days later I wrote a note from me and my friend saying we were really sorry we had broken our promise. He wrote back and it was a horrible letter that in the end said he was sorry if we still wanted to be his friend but it wasn't going to work.
Even though through this whole thing we have said some really mean things to each other, I still would like to be his friend. What can I do to convince him that I truly am sorry and that I still want to be his friend?
Signed,
I regret my actions.
*****
Dear Regret,
This seems like a huge deal to you because you kissed a guy you like (even if it was only on the cheek) and then broke your promise. To the rest of the world, it's no big deal. Paying more attention to it will only make it get bigger. With time this will become smaller. Eventually it will go away completely.
You already did everything you should. You made a mistake and you apologized for it. No real harm was done. Now it's your friend's turn to act mature, accept the apology and move on. If he isn't ready to do that, it's his loss.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
