Saturday, April 01, 2006
A Tangled Mess with English Teacher
Dear Guidance Guy,
We have a son in 6th grade. Two weeks ago there was a school conference. All of his teachers were very pleased with him, except his English teacher. He is in 6th grade, but his Math class is 7th Math class, and his teacher said he is going to send him to 9th Math class. He made honor roll for 2 semesters. We have just moved him from English as a Second Language (ESL) into English class.
The ESL doesn’t want to give him up, because her class has only a few ESL students. We want our son to work harder with his mom’s help. We have a rule for our son that we check his homework everyday. So he is never late on his homework.
Our son just has been in this English teacher’s class for a month, but on the conference day, she gave us the report with several zeros for the tests and assignments that he has not been in her class at that time. His father tried to explain that to her but she did not want to listen to him. She insisted that she was right until he brought papers from the office to show her the date he entered her class. She was unhappy to cancel those zeros for our son, but there were still two other assignments she said he didn't hand in. did not hand in. Our son answered that he never heard about those reading assignments since he entered her class. She blamed us because we did not go to the parent portal website to check it before that day.
We think that she might forget to repeat it to a new student in her class, because she has many students. His mom asked her to be more patient and enthusiastic with him. She got mad and repeated that this student can’t be in her class. She will send him back to ESL class. His mom asked her why, now that his grade is a B. Why do you reject him, and can you choose the student to teach in this school?
This teacher answered that “I can choose the parents”, and she asked “why do you come here to talk to me like this?” His mom said “We are evaluating.” So, the teacher said “I never accept anyone talking to me like that.” His mom said “Are you humans? I don’t believe there is a perfect human in this world, we all get better from evaluation”. The teacher accused us of harassing her and said she would report us.
We went to report this to the principal after she has gone. I am the father of this student, a white American. I married his mom and adoptedher son already. They have an Asian appearance and this teacher seemed uncomfortable with them.
The next day, we heard from another staff in the school that everyone knows since she has a brother who married an Asian wife and she has trouble with this woman, she does not like Asian people. We requested the principal to set up a meeting for this teacher and the parent community, so we can report this to everyone. However, the principal refused, explaining that she has to deal with her Asian sister in law, and now there is no more problem with our son in her class. He said if we want to change our son into another English class, he will.
After that, we heard from multiculture class teacher that the principal said that the problem was we did not want to see our son get a low grade and disrespect the teacher. We think this principal tried to cover for his teacher. The English teacher also relied on her being there for 10 years and can’t be fired. Anyhow, we never wanted her to be fired with our evaluation, just to learn from her mistake. What should we do now?
With all our thankfulness,
Concerned Parents
*****
Dear Concerned Parents,
It's hard to know exactly what happened from your letter. There are at least two sides to every story, and the teacher may see things differently. But let's work with the information you gave me.
You have every right to ask about the assignments that were missing. It looks like the teacher did make a mistake. But it also looks like everyone became defensive when the best thing to do was work for your son's benefit.
Schools have a certain way of evaluating teachers. This is done by principals and supervisors, not by parents. Most teachers have a contract that says how they will be evaluated and who does the evaluating. When you use that word with teachers, it makes them think you are in a position of authority. I do not think you meant anything bad by it, but you are not qualified to evaluate a teacher. It takes years of training and experience. And you definitely do not have the right to set up a meeting between the teacher and the whole parent community. Maybe that is part of the reason why the teacher reacted the way she did.
That said, it also looks like the teacher could have handled the situation much better. Unless this is a private school, teachers do NOT choose the parents. They take who they get, no matter what color, nationality, etc. It is hard to believe any teacher would let the race of their child interfere with their job. She should have acted much more professionally. And if the principal explained her behavior by having an Asian sister in law, that was very poor judgement. You should not be hearing information about this teacher's personal life from the principal or anyone else at the school. That is private information.
The only thing that is important in this situation is the education your son is getting. I compliment you for taking the time and energy to help him. It might be a good idea for your son to change teachers. I don't know if things will improve between your family and this teacher. She may be too nervous or angry to be a good teacher for your son. And he may not feel good enough about learning from her, especially if he knows how you feel about her.
In the future, I recommend you not use the word "evaluation" when you talk with your son's teachers. But you fought for your son's education, and I respect that. Keep doing what is best for him. With time and practice, you'll get better in dealing with his schools.
Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy
We have a son in 6th grade. Two weeks ago there was a school conference. All of his teachers were very pleased with him, except his English teacher. He is in 6th grade, but his Math class is 7th Math class, and his teacher said he is going to send him to 9th Math class. He made honor roll for 2 semesters. We have just moved him from English as a Second Language (ESL) into English class.
The ESL doesn’t want to give him up, because her class has only a few ESL students. We want our son to work harder with his mom’s help. We have a rule for our son that we check his homework everyday. So he is never late on his homework.
Our son just has been in this English teacher’s class for a month, but on the conference day, she gave us the report with several zeros for the tests and assignments that he has not been in her class at that time. His father tried to explain that to her but she did not want to listen to him. She insisted that she was right until he brought papers from the office to show her the date he entered her class. She was unhappy to cancel those zeros for our son, but there were still two other assignments she said he didn't hand in. did not hand in. Our son answered that he never heard about those reading assignments since he entered her class. She blamed us because we did not go to the parent portal website to check it before that day.
We think that she might forget to repeat it to a new student in her class, because she has many students. His mom asked her to be more patient and enthusiastic with him. She got mad and repeated that this student can’t be in her class. She will send him back to ESL class. His mom asked her why, now that his grade is a B. Why do you reject him, and can you choose the student to teach in this school?
This teacher answered that “I can choose the parents”, and she asked “why do you come here to talk to me like this?” His mom said “We are evaluating.” So, the teacher said “I never accept anyone talking to me like that.” His mom said “Are you humans? I don’t believe there is a perfect human in this world, we all get better from evaluation”. The teacher accused us of harassing her and said she would report us.
We went to report this to the principal after she has gone. I am the father of this student, a white American. I married his mom and adoptedher son already. They have an Asian appearance and this teacher seemed uncomfortable with them.
The next day, we heard from another staff in the school that everyone knows since she has a brother who married an Asian wife and she has trouble with this woman, she does not like Asian people. We requested the principal to set up a meeting for this teacher and the parent community, so we can report this to everyone. However, the principal refused, explaining that she has to deal with her Asian sister in law, and now there is no more problem with our son in her class. He said if we want to change our son into another English class, he will.
After that, we heard from multiculture class teacher that the principal said that the problem was we did not want to see our son get a low grade and disrespect the teacher. We think this principal tried to cover for his teacher. The English teacher also relied on her being there for 10 years and can’t be fired. Anyhow, we never wanted her to be fired with our evaluation, just to learn from her mistake. What should we do now?
With all our thankfulness,
Concerned Parents
*****
Dear Concerned Parents,
It's hard to know exactly what happened from your letter. There are at least two sides to every story, and the teacher may see things differently. But let's work with the information you gave me.
You have every right to ask about the assignments that were missing. It looks like the teacher did make a mistake. But it also looks like everyone became defensive when the best thing to do was work for your son's benefit.
Schools have a certain way of evaluating teachers. This is done by principals and supervisors, not by parents. Most teachers have a contract that says how they will be evaluated and who does the evaluating. When you use that word with teachers, it makes them think you are in a position of authority. I do not think you meant anything bad by it, but you are not qualified to evaluate a teacher. It takes years of training and experience. And you definitely do not have the right to set up a meeting between the teacher and the whole parent community. Maybe that is part of the reason why the teacher reacted the way she did.
That said, it also looks like the teacher could have handled the situation much better. Unless this is a private school, teachers do NOT choose the parents. They take who they get, no matter what color, nationality, etc. It is hard to believe any teacher would let the race of their child interfere with their job. She should have acted much more professionally. And if the principal explained her behavior by having an Asian sister in law, that was very poor judgement. You should not be hearing information about this teacher's personal life from the principal or anyone else at the school. That is private information.
The only thing that is important in this situation is the education your son is getting. I compliment you for taking the time and energy to help him. It might be a good idea for your son to change teachers. I don't know if things will improve between your family and this teacher. She may be too nervous or angry to be a good teacher for your son. And he may not feel good enough about learning from her, especially if he knows how you feel about her.
In the future, I recommend you not use the word "evaluation" when you talk with your son's teachers. But you fought for your son's education, and I respect that. Keep doing what is best for him. With time and practice, you'll get better in dealing with his schools.
Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy
