Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Response from a Teacher
Dear Guidance Guy,
I think you were a bit off the mark in a recent column:
April 6, 2006
ANNOYING GUY
Dear Guidance Guy,
There is this guy at my school and he is so annoying! He always
laughs at thingsthat aren't funny, makes stupid jokes, and gets too
close to me. I think he likes me. He says he likes another one of
my friends, but I don't believe him.
HELP!
Annoyed
*****
Dear Annoyed,
This guy may like you, but that doesn't matter because you don't like
him. Next time he gets too close, tell him his breath is making you
want to lose your lunch all over him. Any number of casual insults
like that should do the trick. I'm also a big fan of asking guys like
this if their mother dresses them in the morning or are they just
colorblind. Of course, he may choose to fire a few insults back at
you.
Try ignoring him until he goes away. Of course, you never said you
don't like him!
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I think advising kids to insult each other is a bad idea. In my experience, they don't have the ability to keep things in perspective. They often take these things personally, which can lead to fighting and/or hurt feelings.
Maybe instead you could have said:
If you want him to go away, tell him that you don't enjoy his company
and would he please go away and leave you alone. If you don't want
him to go away, tell him that sometimes his sense of humor bothers
you, and that you need to talk to him about it if he's going to hang
around with you.
Jeff Bigler
Chemistry Teacher,
Peabody Veterans Memorial High School,
Peabody, Mass.
*****
Dear Mr. Bigler,
You are absolutely right when you say that students don't always know how to keep things in perspective. Hopefully our friend from this column recognized my attempt at lightening up the situation and didn't throw the insults back. I also suggested she try ignoring him. This is usually the easiest way to have someone stop bothering you.
That said, I'm not sure the approach you suggest would work best either. It sounds like something one very brave and emotionally secure adult would say, and I don't think either of these young folks are in that position. I still think ignoring the young man is the best way to go.
But you are right about being careful about using humor. Anything you say can be used right back at you. I stand corrected.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
I think you were a bit off the mark in a recent column:
April 6, 2006
ANNOYING GUY
Dear Guidance Guy,
There is this guy at my school and he is so annoying! He always
laughs at thingsthat aren't funny, makes stupid jokes, and gets too
close to me. I think he likes me. He says he likes another one of
my friends, but I don't believe him.
HELP!
Annoyed
*****
Dear Annoyed,
This guy may like you, but that doesn't matter because you don't like
him. Next time he gets too close, tell him his breath is making you
want to lose your lunch all over him. Any number of casual insults
like that should do the trick. I'm also a big fan of asking guys like
this if their mother dresses them in the morning or are they just
colorblind. Of course, he may choose to fire a few insults back at
you.
Try ignoring him until he goes away. Of course, you never said you
don't like him!
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I think advising kids to insult each other is a bad idea. In my experience, they don't have the ability to keep things in perspective. They often take these things personally, which can lead to fighting and/or hurt feelings.
Maybe instead you could have said:
If you want him to go away, tell him that you don't enjoy his company
and would he please go away and leave you alone. If you don't want
him to go away, tell him that sometimes his sense of humor bothers
you, and that you need to talk to him about it if he's going to hang
around with you.
Jeff Bigler
Chemistry Teacher,
Peabody Veterans Memorial High School,
Peabody, Mass.
*****
Dear Mr. Bigler,
You are absolutely right when you say that students don't always know how to keep things in perspective. Hopefully our friend from this column recognized my attempt at lightening up the situation and didn't throw the insults back. I also suggested she try ignoring him. This is usually the easiest way to have someone stop bothering you.
That said, I'm not sure the approach you suggest would work best either. It sounds like something one very brave and emotionally secure adult would say, and I don't think either of these young folks are in that position. I still think ignoring the young man is the best way to go.
But you are right about being careful about using humor. Anything you say can be used right back at you. I stand corrected.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
