Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Older Sister in Control?
Dear Guidance Guy,
My sister gets ALL of the attention. She's in all the high school plays and I am left in the dust. All I hear from relatives is, "oh, your sister was GREAT! You're going to be just like her, aren't you?" I am TIRED of it! I tried to confront my parents, but they denied it! My sister even admitted to it, but my mom didn't believe me when I told her and my sister denied it.
I always get in trouble and I don't do anything wrong! Once my sister said a really nasty comment and my dad yelled at her because he was in the room. He said he wouldn't have believed me if I told him and he wasn't in the room. That didn't make me feel better!! (And she had denied saying the nasty comment even though my dad was in the room!!)
When I became a vegetarian she hated it because I was supposedly getting more attention, so she told me that it was ridiculous and I told her my beliefs were not ridiculous. My sister went to my mom and I got in trouble. The sad part is I am younger!! I want it to be like it was when my sister wasn't that obnoxious!! What can I do??
Signed,
Older Sis Controlling Life !!
*****
Dear O.S.C.L.
Your older sister isn't controlling your life. Except for one nasty comment she made and then denied, she hasn't done anything to you - at least nothing that you talked about in your letter. It looks like she is a active, high achieving young lady. There's nothing wrong with that.
What you are feeling is completely normal. It's OK to want more attention and as you get older and become involved in more things, you will get the attention you want. But you are allowing your reaction to her to control your life. She isn't doing it to you...you're doing it to yourself. I'm not sure what's up with that whole vegetarian thing, but if you became a vegetarian and you believe in it, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including your sister. In fact, people who believe in things with quiet strength wind up getting the most positive attention in the end.
I don't know of any way to make things go back to the way they were. You and your sister are both growing and changing. And believe it or not, your parents are chaning too. They're learning to be parents of two young ladies - which is something they've never done before. What you can do is continue to do the things that interest you and be the best person you can be. In the end, both of you will get attention from the people who understand you. And you'll get respect from the only person you really need it from: yourself.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
My sister gets ALL of the attention. She's in all the high school plays and I am left in the dust. All I hear from relatives is, "oh, your sister was GREAT! You're going to be just like her, aren't you?" I am TIRED of it! I tried to confront my parents, but they denied it! My sister even admitted to it, but my mom didn't believe me when I told her and my sister denied it.
I always get in trouble and I don't do anything wrong! Once my sister said a really nasty comment and my dad yelled at her because he was in the room. He said he wouldn't have believed me if I told him and he wasn't in the room. That didn't make me feel better!! (And she had denied saying the nasty comment even though my dad was in the room!!)
When I became a vegetarian she hated it because I was supposedly getting more attention, so she told me that it was ridiculous and I told her my beliefs were not ridiculous. My sister went to my mom and I got in trouble. The sad part is I am younger!! I want it to be like it was when my sister wasn't that obnoxious!! What can I do??
Signed,
Older Sis Controlling Life !!
*****
Dear O.S.C.L.
Your older sister isn't controlling your life. Except for one nasty comment she made and then denied, she hasn't done anything to you - at least nothing that you talked about in your letter. It looks like she is a active, high achieving young lady. There's nothing wrong with that.
What you are feeling is completely normal. It's OK to want more attention and as you get older and become involved in more things, you will get the attention you want. But you are allowing your reaction to her to control your life. She isn't doing it to you...you're doing it to yourself. I'm not sure what's up with that whole vegetarian thing, but if you became a vegetarian and you believe in it, you don't have to explain it to anyone, including your sister. In fact, people who believe in things with quiet strength wind up getting the most positive attention in the end.
I don't know of any way to make things go back to the way they were. You and your sister are both growing and changing. And believe it or not, your parents are chaning too. They're learning to be parents of two young ladies - which is something they've never done before. What you can do is continue to do the things that interest you and be the best person you can be. In the end, both of you will get attention from the people who understand you. And you'll get respect from the only person you really need it from: yourself.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
