Monday, April 03, 2006
Lost Interest in Boyfriend
Dear Guidance Guy,
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half now, and he's a really nice guy. I really liked him initially, but lately I've been doing everything in my power to avoid him. I've always been a fairly quiet person, and in all honesty, I enjoy my own company more than that of anyone else's. I get along well with people and manage quite well in most social
situations.
I don't really understand why I (even subconciously!) am avoiding him, as he is a nice guy. I'm not really interested in dating him anymore, but If I don't even know why, then how can I let him down easy? I'm really worried about hurting his feelings, because deep down I think the
problem is a personality flaw on my part. Do you have any advice?
-Stressed
*****
Dear Stressed,
I only know you from this short letter, but I don't see anything that makes me think you have any kind of personality disorder. Enjoying your own company is a gift, not something to be ashamed of. So before anything else, be grateful you have a best friend who will never desert you...yourself.
It's not your job to let your boyfriend down easy. In fact, anything less than complete honesty will probably hurt his feelings more. Simply telling him that you like him but aren't interested romantically is enough. You are not responsible for how he reacts. If the situation was reversed, something tells me you would appreciate the complete truth rather than being "let down easy."
Not liking someone romantically isn't a personality flaw. You're growing and discovering new things about yourself everyday. Give yourself a break! Chances are someone who you have real chemistry with will come along. And this will be the person whose company you enjoy as much as your own. It may take a while, but don't think for a second that something's wrong with you because it hasn't happened yet. When it does, you'll have two best friends!
Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half now, and he's a really nice guy. I really liked him initially, but lately I've been doing everything in my power to avoid him. I've always been a fairly quiet person, and in all honesty, I enjoy my own company more than that of anyone else's. I get along well with people and manage quite well in most social
situations.
I don't really understand why I (even subconciously!) am avoiding him, as he is a nice guy. I'm not really interested in dating him anymore, but If I don't even know why, then how can I let him down easy? I'm really worried about hurting his feelings, because deep down I think the
problem is a personality flaw on my part. Do you have any advice?
-Stressed
*****
Dear Stressed,
I only know you from this short letter, but I don't see anything that makes me think you have any kind of personality disorder. Enjoying your own company is a gift, not something to be ashamed of. So before anything else, be grateful you have a best friend who will never desert you...yourself.
It's not your job to let your boyfriend down easy. In fact, anything less than complete honesty will probably hurt his feelings more. Simply telling him that you like him but aren't interested romantically is enough. You are not responsible for how he reacts. If the situation was reversed, something tells me you would appreciate the complete truth rather than being "let down easy."
Not liking someone romantically isn't a personality flaw. You're growing and discovering new things about yourself everyday. Give yourself a break! Chances are someone who you have real chemistry with will come along. And this will be the person whose company you enjoy as much as your own. It may take a while, but don't think for a second that something's wrong with you because it hasn't happened yet. When it does, you'll have two best friends!
Thanks for a great letter,
The Guidance Guy
