Monday, March 20, 2006
I miss my new friends.
Dear Guidance Guy
Last year I moved to a new place, not too far away from my old home. The school was great, and I had so many friends. I even had a boyfriend! He was sweet, and sensitive, and really cute. We really love each other. I was only at the school for half a year. It was time for me to move back to my old home. My friends who lived there have turned their backs on me. A girl who used to be my friend is now teasing me. I sit alone at lunch. I had attempted too many times to make friends. All hve failed. I am now quiet and depressed.
Every moment in school that is social I keep to myself. I don't talk. I just think about my old friends. I think about my love. We all still keep in touch. And I should be thankful I see them so often. But I yearn to be with them, I yearn to be with my boyfriend. I miss him and I miss them, and I want to leave this place. But the house is not going to be sold and we are not moving back. And though we live so close, I must remain in this awful school.
7th grade is nothing but hell. I need to be back, I belong there. I know I do.
Tortured and Alone
*****
Dear Tortured and Alone,
It's hard to imagine how one school could be so absolutely wonderul and magical and another school could be so horrible - excpt for one thing...
Sometimes we go on a vacation and have a great time in a place that seems like magic. When we come home our usual lives look a little more dull and boring compared to where we were. It's only natural. Sooner or later you settle back into your routine and appreciate the things you have (and look forward to your next vacation).
The difference here is that you didn't just come back to things...you came back to people. Maybe you did enjoy the people at the other school more. But I wonder if you spoke about the "new friends" so much to the "old friends" that they felt like they weren't good enough. And I wonder if you sent messages that you liked your new friends better.
And it's possible you just outgrew the old friends.
Either way, you have a choice to make. If you'll be staying where you are now, you need to stop thinking that your school is "hell." If you keep saying that to yourself I promise it won't get any better. Maybe it's time to make friends with people you hadn't been friends with before you left. Or maybe it's time to find something good about the people you're with now.
Here's one more idea...find one of the people you used to be friendly with (not the girl you mentioned) and ask if you said or did something to upset your old friends. Listen to what he/she has to say without getting upset. If there's something you did you can make better (or apologize for) it will make it much easier to get a group of friends at your current school.
Last thing...if this doesn't get better soon, talk to a counselor at the school. I don't like reading how you feel so alone and miserable. No one should have to go through their day that way.
Hope That Helps,
The Guidance Guy
Last year I moved to a new place, not too far away from my old home. The school was great, and I had so many friends. I even had a boyfriend! He was sweet, and sensitive, and really cute. We really love each other. I was only at the school for half a year. It was time for me to move back to my old home. My friends who lived there have turned their backs on me. A girl who used to be my friend is now teasing me. I sit alone at lunch. I had attempted too many times to make friends. All hve failed. I am now quiet and depressed.
Every moment in school that is social I keep to myself. I don't talk. I just think about my old friends. I think about my love. We all still keep in touch. And I should be thankful I see them so often. But I yearn to be with them, I yearn to be with my boyfriend. I miss him and I miss them, and I want to leave this place. But the house is not going to be sold and we are not moving back. And though we live so close, I must remain in this awful school.
7th grade is nothing but hell. I need to be back, I belong there. I know I do.
Tortured and Alone
*****
Dear Tortured and Alone,
It's hard to imagine how one school could be so absolutely wonderul and magical and another school could be so horrible - excpt for one thing...
Sometimes we go on a vacation and have a great time in a place that seems like magic. When we come home our usual lives look a little more dull and boring compared to where we were. It's only natural. Sooner or later you settle back into your routine and appreciate the things you have (and look forward to your next vacation).
The difference here is that you didn't just come back to things...you came back to people. Maybe you did enjoy the people at the other school more. But I wonder if you spoke about the "new friends" so much to the "old friends" that they felt like they weren't good enough. And I wonder if you sent messages that you liked your new friends better.
And it's possible you just outgrew the old friends.
Either way, you have a choice to make. If you'll be staying where you are now, you need to stop thinking that your school is "hell." If you keep saying that to yourself I promise it won't get any better. Maybe it's time to make friends with people you hadn't been friends with before you left. Or maybe it's time to find something good about the people you're with now.
Here's one more idea...find one of the people you used to be friendly with (not the girl you mentioned) and ask if you said or did something to upset your old friends. Listen to what he/she has to say without getting upset. If there's something you did you can make better (or apologize for) it will make it much easier to get a group of friends at your current school.
Last thing...if this doesn't get better soon, talk to a counselor at the school. I don't like reading how you feel so alone and miserable. No one should have to go through their day that way.
Hope That Helps,
The Guidance Guy
