Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Engaged, and No One Knows
Dear Guidance Guy,
I really need your help. I am engaged to a girl who I never met before. We met on Bolt2.com. But I have not told anyone really about it. I am scared to think whatthey will say. I want to but then people will think I am weird but stupid. I am a bright guy and I have common sense. But she is 15 and I am 19. We been engaged for almost a year. My parents do not have a clue. I need to tell them sooner or later. So, my question to you is: how should I tell them and my friends?
Help me,
Very Confused Individual
*****
Dear Very Confused,
I don't think you are weird or stupid. But you certainly are very confused!
Let's start here...until you meet, give her an engagement ring, set a date for the wedding, tell both sets of parents, and wait until she's legally old enough to marry (18 in most states), you aren't engaged.
The cool thing about programs like Bolt2.com, MySpace, etc. is that they let you meet all kinds of people from all over the world. Many times you get to know people this way...to a certain extent. Until you see them, watch them move, get to know them in person, even know how they smell, you don't know them as well as you think you do. (If you're going to marry someone, how they smell is important!)
I'm guessing you don't have a lot of experience with dating because there are lots of young women your own age in your own town who might be interested in meeting you. I'm not saying this to offend you, but I do believe if you're a 19 year old guy, meeting 15 year old's on line is not the way to go about having a meaningful relationship. You would do well to find a way to get some more self-confidence. Find a local club of people with the same interests as you and join it. Or try going out with your friends with the idea of meeting some new people.
As for your question - how should you tell your parents and friends - I wouldn't tell them. Think about this...when your "fiancee" tells her parents about you, there's a good chance they won't let her on the computer anymore.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
I really need your help. I am engaged to a girl who I never met before. We met on Bolt2.com. But I have not told anyone really about it. I am scared to think whatthey will say. I want to but then people will think I am weird but stupid. I am a bright guy and I have common sense. But she is 15 and I am 19. We been engaged for almost a year. My parents do not have a clue. I need to tell them sooner or later. So, my question to you is: how should I tell them and my friends?
Help me,
Very Confused Individual
*****
Dear Very Confused,
I don't think you are weird or stupid. But you certainly are very confused!
Let's start here...until you meet, give her an engagement ring, set a date for the wedding, tell both sets of parents, and wait until she's legally old enough to marry (18 in most states), you aren't engaged.
The cool thing about programs like Bolt2.com, MySpace, etc. is that they let you meet all kinds of people from all over the world. Many times you get to know people this way...to a certain extent. Until you see them, watch them move, get to know them in person, even know how they smell, you don't know them as well as you think you do. (If you're going to marry someone, how they smell is important!)
I'm guessing you don't have a lot of experience with dating because there are lots of young women your own age in your own town who might be interested in meeting you. I'm not saying this to offend you, but I do believe if you're a 19 year old guy, meeting 15 year old's on line is not the way to go about having a meaningful relationship. You would do well to find a way to get some more self-confidence. Find a local club of people with the same interests as you and join it. Or try going out with your friends with the idea of meeting some new people.
As for your question - how should you tell your parents and friends - I wouldn't tell them. Think about this...when your "fiancee" tells her parents about you, there's a good chance they won't let her on the computer anymore.
Best of Luck,
The Guidance Guy
