Saturday, February 25, 2006
Stuck Between Two Sides
Dear Guidance Guy,
My boyfriend doesn't like French. He never has. We are going to high school next year, so our French teacher is being really strict on us to get our work done in order to be prepared for high school. I don't find it that bad, but my boyfriend does. He doesn't get the subject. He's blaming the French teacher because he doesn't understand it. But he's being so stupid cause he doesn't ask for help.
Today he got sent to the Gr. 4 room because he wasn't being very appropriate. After class, I was talking to the teacher and my boyfriend burst in the room yelling at the teacher looking for his binder. It scared me a little. When he left, the teacher asked me if I could talk to him. I said I tried but he doesn't listen. The teacher doesn't deserve to be treated that way. But no one will help me stop my boyfriend.
He also wants to get the French teacher fired because he apperently called him stupid. The French teacher would never do that. I know what kind of person would say that and this teacher isn't. I get along with the teacher. He hasn't yelled at me at all. But no one else does. They all believe my boyfriend. I don't want to lose our relationship, but I don't want the French teacher to lose his job either.
Please, What do I need to do to knock some sense into my boyfriend?
Please reply soon,
Christina
*****
Dear Christina,
I wouldn't worry about the French teacher losing his job. It will take much more than one upset student for that to happen, especially one that seems to have a problem with anger.
And that seems to be the problem right there. Your boyfriend may be immature because he is acting inappropriately. But I'm concerned about the kind of anger he's showing this teacher. Someone who loses control like that toward an adult...it makes me worried about what might happen as he gets older - and how he will deal with you, or any other girlfriend he may have. This seems like a guy who may be out of control.
And that's the message I want you to get. It is not your job to knock sense into him. It's his job to learn to deal with things better, or pay the consequences.
I wish your teacher hadn't asked you to talk to him. You're not his mother or his guidance counselor. The best thing you can do for him is to be his girlfriend (if that's your choice) and support him. But don't accept his behavior when it's not appropriate. If what he does makes you uncomfortable, move away from him.
You seem like a very mature and smart young lady. Your boyfriend seems like he's not nearly as grown up as you are. Decide if this is the right guy for you right now. If he is, be his girlfriend, not his parent. If he's not the right one, there are plenty of other guys who you will meet...especially next year in high school.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
My boyfriend doesn't like French. He never has. We are going to high school next year, so our French teacher is being really strict on us to get our work done in order to be prepared for high school. I don't find it that bad, but my boyfriend does. He doesn't get the subject. He's blaming the French teacher because he doesn't understand it. But he's being so stupid cause he doesn't ask for help.
Today he got sent to the Gr. 4 room because he wasn't being very appropriate. After class, I was talking to the teacher and my boyfriend burst in the room yelling at the teacher looking for his binder. It scared me a little. When he left, the teacher asked me if I could talk to him. I said I tried but he doesn't listen. The teacher doesn't deserve to be treated that way. But no one will help me stop my boyfriend.
He also wants to get the French teacher fired because he apperently called him stupid. The French teacher would never do that. I know what kind of person would say that and this teacher isn't. I get along with the teacher. He hasn't yelled at me at all. But no one else does. They all believe my boyfriend. I don't want to lose our relationship, but I don't want the French teacher to lose his job either.
Please, What do I need to do to knock some sense into my boyfriend?
Please reply soon,
Christina
*****
Dear Christina,
I wouldn't worry about the French teacher losing his job. It will take much more than one upset student for that to happen, especially one that seems to have a problem with anger.
And that seems to be the problem right there. Your boyfriend may be immature because he is acting inappropriately. But I'm concerned about the kind of anger he's showing this teacher. Someone who loses control like that toward an adult...it makes me worried about what might happen as he gets older - and how he will deal with you, or any other girlfriend he may have. This seems like a guy who may be out of control.
And that's the message I want you to get. It is not your job to knock sense into him. It's his job to learn to deal with things better, or pay the consequences.
I wish your teacher hadn't asked you to talk to him. You're not his mother or his guidance counselor. The best thing you can do for him is to be his girlfriend (if that's your choice) and support him. But don't accept his behavior when it's not appropriate. If what he does makes you uncomfortable, move away from him.
You seem like a very mature and smart young lady. Your boyfriend seems like he's not nearly as grown up as you are. Decide if this is the right guy for you right now. If he is, be his girlfriend, not his parent. If he's not the right one, there are plenty of other guys who you will meet...especially next year in high school.
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
