Monday, February 06, 2006
Oklahoma, or Virginia?
Dear Guidance Guy,
I need some help. See, my parents made me and my family move from Virginia (a state that I've lived in for about 10 years) all the the way to Oklahoma. I'm having a really hard time adapting to the environment. I'm currently homeschooling for my junior year, but lately I've been feeling a little depressed. I'm not enjoying it over here, in fact it's a little too country for me. I am 17 1/2 years old and yet, my folks say you have to be 18 in order to move out. Would it be possible if I could just move back home 2 1/2 months before I turn 18? I already have a place to stay there, but I'm just waiting to get the chance to go back home, or should I just try to deal with this situation the best I can since I only have 2 1/2 months left?
Sincerely,
Confused
*****
Dear Confused,
You're asking a couple of different questions here, so let's deal with them one at a time. If by possible to move out you mean legal, you have to check with state law in both Virginia and Oklahoma. My guess is that it is legal to move but your parents have to give permission to attend a different school. Virginia law would be the one to decide that. If you want to check it out, try emailing or calling the Virginia Dept. of Education.
Notice how I said if you want to check it out, because there is obviously a lot more to this than what is legal. It looks like you've already made up your mind to return to Virginia. I'm reluctant to tell you what to do, but two and a half months doesn't seem like a long time to wait. You don't say how long you've been in Oklahoma, but if you go back to your old school you'll have to pick up classes you haven't been taking. Maybe you can catch up, maybe not. Not to mention the adjustment you'd be making in living with a new family. Looking at it that way, it may be worth considering sticking it out until Virginia's school year ends so you can start as a senior.
Another thing to consider is the relationship with your parents. I'm curious about the circumstances that had them moving, but it was obviously something against your will. Does a move away from them at this point do more harm to your relationship with them than it's worth? Or does it allow you to move past some of the anger and depression you feel right now? I don't have an answer to that one; but maybe deep down inside, you do.
Here's one way to go (and it doesn't have to be the one you choose): develop some kind of interest or hobby with the free time you have at the moment. Since you are cut off from many of the things you're used to, find something new and different to do. Maybe a foreign language or some completely different kind of skill. If you decide to stay, turn your depression into something positive.
One thing I know...no matter what you do, you've got great material for a college admission and scholarship essay!
Best of luck with whatever you decide,
The Guidance Guy
I need some help. See, my parents made me and my family move from Virginia (a state that I've lived in for about 10 years) all the the way to Oklahoma. I'm having a really hard time adapting to the environment. I'm currently homeschooling for my junior year, but lately I've been feeling a little depressed. I'm not enjoying it over here, in fact it's a little too country for me. I am 17 1/2 years old and yet, my folks say you have to be 18 in order to move out. Would it be possible if I could just move back home 2 1/2 months before I turn 18? I already have a place to stay there, but I'm just waiting to get the chance to go back home, or should I just try to deal with this situation the best I can since I only have 2 1/2 months left?
Sincerely,
Confused
*****
Dear Confused,
You're asking a couple of different questions here, so let's deal with them one at a time. If by possible to move out you mean legal, you have to check with state law in both Virginia and Oklahoma. My guess is that it is legal to move but your parents have to give permission to attend a different school. Virginia law would be the one to decide that. If you want to check it out, try emailing or calling the Virginia Dept. of Education.
Notice how I said if you want to check it out, because there is obviously a lot more to this than what is legal. It looks like you've already made up your mind to return to Virginia. I'm reluctant to tell you what to do, but two and a half months doesn't seem like a long time to wait. You don't say how long you've been in Oklahoma, but if you go back to your old school you'll have to pick up classes you haven't been taking. Maybe you can catch up, maybe not. Not to mention the adjustment you'd be making in living with a new family. Looking at it that way, it may be worth considering sticking it out until Virginia's school year ends so you can start as a senior.
Another thing to consider is the relationship with your parents. I'm curious about the circumstances that had them moving, but it was obviously something against your will. Does a move away from them at this point do more harm to your relationship with them than it's worth? Or does it allow you to move past some of the anger and depression you feel right now? I don't have an answer to that one; but maybe deep down inside, you do.
Here's one way to go (and it doesn't have to be the one you choose): develop some kind of interest or hobby with the free time you have at the moment. Since you are cut off from many of the things you're used to, find something new and different to do. Maybe a foreign language or some completely different kind of skill. If you decide to stay, turn your depression into something positive.
One thing I know...no matter what you do, you've got great material for a college admission and scholarship essay!
Best of luck with whatever you decide,
The Guidance Guy
