Saturday, February 04, 2006
An Amazing Kid...who needs to be reminded.
Dear Guidance Guy,
I am almost 17 and not really good at anything. I am an okay swimmer, I jog, I work part-time at a banquet hall on weekends (and I used to work as a lifeguard inthe summer), my grades are a little above average (84%) and I have a few close friends, but am a little shy in front of strangers or in new classes. I speak two languages and I am learning French and hopefuly Italian and I would like to be a psychologist. It just seems like I am all over the place, and for once, I would really like to have an amazing academic average to make me feel like I am worth something.
I need your advice: do you think that I will be okay in life? My friend has a 92% average, but she doesn't really go out or do anything else. Do you think that it is worth it to give up my hobbies just so I can get that average, since students are often seen as "marks" by universities and by their parents? Am I worth less than everyone who has a higher mark than me? Please help me.
Sincerely,
Concerned and Pesimistic
*****
Dear C & P,
Wow, what a loaded up letter! I looked at it a few times before I started to write you back. The first thing that jumped out at me is that you are measuring how you feel about yourself based on your high school average. Guess what? When you finish high school your average disappears...but your skills, talents, interests, etc. stay with you forever. So hopefully you see the answer to some of your questions.
Do I think you'll be OK in life? Yes, I do. You have some very strong skills. The most important one you have is AMBITION. Having a desire to accomplish lots of things is so much more important than a grade point average, or even the university you attend. It's that desire that gets people to take healthy risks and become more in life. Look at everything you know how to do now...two languages already, with more on the way! It's natural to be shy in front of strangers - this gets easier as you get older and more comfortable with yourself.
Do I think it's worth giving up your hobbies so you might be able to raise your grades? Heck, no! Colleges don't want drones that stay home and study just so they can pad their averages. Sure, they want kids with good grades. But they also want people who learn by DOING. They want people who become leaders; who will contribute their time and talent when they get onto campus. And speaking as a parent, we don't want kids who are just "marks." We want happy, excited sons and daughters.
The biggest danger you have - the only thing I see that can hold you back from being OK in life - is the way you signed your letter. No matter how well you do in school or how smart and talented you are, pessimism will hold you back. It will keep you from recognizing good opportunities and taking advantage of all the wonderful gifts that await you. Pessimistic people are unhappy, no matter what kind of career or financial situation they have. The MOST important thing for you to do...more than any college, language, hobby...is to lose the pessimism. Replace it with KNOWING that things are going to work out great.
You have everything you need to be happy, healthy, prosperous and successful. Let that excitement in...let it ooze out of your pores. Let everyone around you feel your excitement. Be optimistic, confident and sure of your success. If you are, I guarantee it will happen!
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
P.S. For everyone else, YOU also have these same opportunities. Do your best, no matter where you are now. Realize just how great life can be and work towards something that's important to you.
I am almost 17 and not really good at anything. I am an okay swimmer, I jog, I work part-time at a banquet hall on weekends (and I used to work as a lifeguard inthe summer), my grades are a little above average (84%) and I have a few close friends, but am a little shy in front of strangers or in new classes. I speak two languages and I am learning French and hopefuly Italian and I would like to be a psychologist. It just seems like I am all over the place, and for once, I would really like to have an amazing academic average to make me feel like I am worth something.
I need your advice: do you think that I will be okay in life? My friend has a 92% average, but she doesn't really go out or do anything else. Do you think that it is worth it to give up my hobbies just so I can get that average, since students are often seen as "marks" by universities and by their parents? Am I worth less than everyone who has a higher mark than me? Please help me.
Sincerely,
Concerned and Pesimistic
*****
Dear C & P,
Wow, what a loaded up letter! I looked at it a few times before I started to write you back. The first thing that jumped out at me is that you are measuring how you feel about yourself based on your high school average. Guess what? When you finish high school your average disappears...but your skills, talents, interests, etc. stay with you forever. So hopefully you see the answer to some of your questions.
Do I think you'll be OK in life? Yes, I do. You have some very strong skills. The most important one you have is AMBITION. Having a desire to accomplish lots of things is so much more important than a grade point average, or even the university you attend. It's that desire that gets people to take healthy risks and become more in life. Look at everything you know how to do now...two languages already, with more on the way! It's natural to be shy in front of strangers - this gets easier as you get older and more comfortable with yourself.
Do I think it's worth giving up your hobbies so you might be able to raise your grades? Heck, no! Colleges don't want drones that stay home and study just so they can pad their averages. Sure, they want kids with good grades. But they also want people who learn by DOING. They want people who become leaders; who will contribute their time and talent when they get onto campus. And speaking as a parent, we don't want kids who are just "marks." We want happy, excited sons and daughters.
The biggest danger you have - the only thing I see that can hold you back from being OK in life - is the way you signed your letter. No matter how well you do in school or how smart and talented you are, pessimism will hold you back. It will keep you from recognizing good opportunities and taking advantage of all the wonderful gifts that await you. Pessimistic people are unhappy, no matter what kind of career or financial situation they have. The MOST important thing for you to do...more than any college, language, hobby...is to lose the pessimism. Replace it with KNOWING that things are going to work out great.
You have everything you need to be happy, healthy, prosperous and successful. Let that excitement in...let it ooze out of your pores. Let everyone around you feel your excitement. Be optimistic, confident and sure of your success. If you are, I guarantee it will happen!
All The Best,
The Guidance Guy
P.S. For everyone else, YOU also have these same opportunities. Do your best, no matter where you are now. Realize just how great life can be and work towards something that's important to you.
