Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Mother Troubles
Dear Guidance Guy,
My mother and I have been fighting a lot lately, and ever since this has been happening she has not been inviting me to go places with her but invites my sister. She does not listen to what I have to say. Just today my mother and her friends went to go see a movie but didn't invite me. After they are going out to eat.
I have no idea how to fix my problem because everytime I try to act nice she just gets me even more upset and angry! I feel like it's my fault, and she makes it worse. How do I solve my problem?
Mother Crisis
*****
Dear Mother Crisis,
Looks like there are a couple of different things going on here. One of them is that your mom and you fight, which is normal. It would only be strange if you weren't disagreeing about something. If you want to communicate better with her, try picking a time when neither of you are mad. Then ask her how she feels about what's going on between you. And whatever she says, LISTEN. Even if you don't agree with it, she needs to say what's on her mind. And you need to do the same. If you listen to her, I'll bet she's willing to do the same for you.
But you may have to start it.
I kind of understand her not wanting to go out with you. If she went with her friends, she may just need some time with adults only. Nothing wrong with that. And maybe she was just too upset with you when she went out with your sister.
Here's an idea...grab a few dollars and invite her out for coffee...your treat. It will be a grown-up move on your part, and just may help you see each other differently. It could be the start of a new (and better) chapter in your relationship.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
My mother and I have been fighting a lot lately, and ever since this has been happening she has not been inviting me to go places with her but invites my sister. She does not listen to what I have to say. Just today my mother and her friends went to go see a movie but didn't invite me. After they are going out to eat.
I have no idea how to fix my problem because everytime I try to act nice she just gets me even more upset and angry! I feel like it's my fault, and she makes it worse. How do I solve my problem?
Mother Crisis
*****
Dear Mother Crisis,
Looks like there are a couple of different things going on here. One of them is that your mom and you fight, which is normal. It would only be strange if you weren't disagreeing about something. If you want to communicate better with her, try picking a time when neither of you are mad. Then ask her how she feels about what's going on between you. And whatever she says, LISTEN. Even if you don't agree with it, she needs to say what's on her mind. And you need to do the same. If you listen to her, I'll bet she's willing to do the same for you.
But you may have to start it.
I kind of understand her not wanting to go out with you. If she went with her friends, she may just need some time with adults only. Nothing wrong with that. And maybe she was just too upset with you when she went out with your sister.
Here's an idea...grab a few dollars and invite her out for coffee...your treat. It will be a grown-up move on your part, and just may help you see each other differently. It could be the start of a new (and better) chapter in your relationship.
Thanks for your letter,
The Guidance Guy
